1. Spend a good chunk of Saturday in my pajamas waiting for fedex to deliver my bakers rack because I don't have a doorman and therefore have to do everything.
2. Bake fig bars, compliments of my new idol The Pioneer Woman's apricot bar recipe.
3. Fantasize that one day I might become PIoneer Woman-like and be (a) that funny and (b) that good of a cook.
4. Assemble bakers rack upon its arrival. Break a few nails in process. Try not to wallow in disappointment when it turns out to not be as grand as the picture on Amazon.com.
5. Spend time thinking about taking photo of assembled bakers rack to post here because I'm so proud of myself before deciding that borders on pathetic.
5. Invite my friend Laurina over for the orange chicken with figs and golden raisins I am intending to make that night, because, now that I am a Cook, I can (a) cook such grand-sounding meals and (b) have people over for dinner.
6. Receive text back that she'd love to come for dinner...but she's a vegetarian.
7. Spend a few moments annoyed that people can't put their vegetarian ways aside every once in a while, especially for such a grand-sounding meal that I'm about to slave away over.
8. Resort to my previous non-Cook ways and text her back that we can just order in takeout instead.
9. Have a yoga-induced inspiration that I can make lentil soup and a salad instead because part of being a Cook is learning how to improvise on the fly and not resort to takeout or microwaveable Weight Watchers box dinner.
10. Prepare lentil soup and salad which, according to Laurina, is "very good" but what the hell else is she going to say when she's sitting on my couch and I've just fed her. However, the fig bars are "awesome" and I know she's not lying about that because I've already tested them by eating three.
11. Decide I really don't like the Cleaning Up part of being a Cook but I do it anyway.
12. Post Sunday evening yoga, finally cook the orange chicken with figs and golden raisins even though (a) it won't be ready until 9pm and (b) realize as I'm cooking it that I could feed a small country which is why my coworkers at MTV will be thanking me the next day.
13. Wonder how I'm going to prevent myself from gaining 20 pounds now that I'm a Cook.
14. Speak to my father, who asks what sort of white light, spiritual experience I had that has turned me into a Cook. I have no answer.
15. Go to sleep full and happy...with a prayer that I sell a ton of books so that I can afford a new apartment with a real kitchen instead of the Betty Crocker-sized one that I have now.